In May I turned the big 3-0. "Uh oh, 3-0" is what my mom taught Julian to say to me. If you know me well, you know how much I dread birthdays. I get really morbid and depressed and start thinking about my time on earth. I'm not kidding; before kids I would usually take my birthdays off and lounge in bed and listen to emo-ish music and get very existential. I had been dreading this birthday for some time. Your 20's are all about having the most fun in your life and making the most mistakes with the least amount of consequences. Your 30's are your "growing up" time. People expect you to have it all figured out, and if you don't then what's wrong with you? Your success to other people goes from how much "fun" you are having in your 20's to how much you "have" in your 30's. When people say you have your whole life to figure things out, you are forgetting about the now. How do you even know if you have a "whole life" to figure things out (see, a little piece into my birthday mind haha)?
When the big day finally came Justin asked me that question I knew I was going to have to answer. He said, "Most people work their whole lives to accomplish what you have accomplished the last 5 years of your life. What do you want to accomplish now that you are 30?" Hmmmm. I have the husband, the career, the degree, the house, the car, the kids, etc. etc., what now? I'm a goal person. Always needing to move to the next goal; check it off my list. What is it that I want from life right now? What is it that I need to check off my list?
The answer was right there and had been there for the past few months but I was too "afraid" to vocalize it before then. I don't like it when I have to admit there is something that I need to do better about (or apologize about). It drives me crazy when people vocalize complaints but never do anything about it. If you don't like the relationship or job, change them. If you don't like something about yourself, change it! If not there is so much wasted potential. Nobody likes complainers; they like success stories. There is always something we can change about ourselves or become better at.
My answer is, I want to get healthy and physically fit. I'm somewhere in the middle of the road when it comes to how healthy I am. I'm a pesceterian (the only meat I eat is fish) and enjoy eating healthy foods. When it comes to being physically fit, though, that's definitely the area where I'm lacking. I'm not overweight but having 3 kids in two years does crazy things to your body. Up until that point it had been all about the kids and their well being. But that left me feeling like I wasn't spending enough time for myself. And then the mommy guilt starts kicking in and I'm left feeling like I can't win.
I told Justin my answer and he was immediately supportive. That's one of the things I love most about him-any goal or task I want to achieve, he is my number one cheerleader. He doesn't push; he motivates me and holds me accountable for my dreams. He encourages me to do whatever it is that will make me happy. He told me he wanted to help me achieve this new goal and asked what he could do to help. What a great guy. I told him I probably needed to spend some time going back to the gym and he said "whatever I can do to help, I will do."
So right before summer break hit I started going back to the gym. Every. Single. Day. Doing the same thing in the short amount of time I had. Hop on the treadmill, burn 800-900 calories in 50 minutes, and call it a day. 5 days a week. And...not seeing results! The math just wasn't adding up. How can you burn that many calories and not lose weight? I hadn't changed my diet either so that wasn't the problem. I'd talked to a few of my fitness savvy friends and they mentioned where they thought I was going wrong. I'm stubborn though and thought I'd stick it out and I'd eventually see results. I did that for about 4 weeks and then one afternoon I was on the treadmill killing myself and I thought, this is crazy! What am I doing? I'm not a fitness expert, I need somebody who is telling me what to do. So I hopped off the trainer and went and got a personal trainer.
I've been seeing a personal trainer for about 3 weeks now and I just love it. What a great investment-I'm investing in my own health! My personal trainer is great. He's not a "mean" trainer; he's very motivational. If there is something I don't think I can do, then he does it with me. If I start to doubt myself or my ability to do something, he tells me I'm being too hard on myself and that I'm more powerful than I give myself credit for. And he's right. In the 3 weeks I've been seeing him I've been noticing some incredible differences. I just feel better about myself. And ultimately that feeling is priceless, right? Some people have asked, "Well, how much does that cost? Where do you find the time to do that?" I want to respond with, "How do you not take the time to do that? How do you not cut back on eating out or going shopping in order to get physically healthy?" Instead, I just smile and tell them it's totally worth it. Because it is.
Is there something on your own list that you'd like to accomplish right now? If you need an accountability partner, I'll be there for you. Take the time now to accomplish the things on your list, whether it's a honey-do list or a bucket list. It feels so good to check those items off the list instead of feeling guilty about what you would still like to accomplish. You don't have as much time as you think you have!
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