Well, it's here-the dreaded last day of maternity leave. All good things must come to an end, I suppose. At least it's snowing outside; very peaceful and warm inside our house. I CANNOT BELIEVE it's been 7 weeks with my two not-so-new-anymore baby girls. You know what else I can't believe? That I'm the mom to two not-so-new-anymore baby girls.
Justin and I get asked a lot, "How are you doing? Getting much sleep? Are you having more kids (haha)? How is Julian adjusting?" To tell you the truth-we are doing great...most days. Our baby girls are as sweet as can be. They smile and coo and are "attempting" to sleep through the night. They love to cuddle and snuggle. They don't cry for the sake of crying. Makes my heart just melt thinking about them.
That being said, there are moments when all three kids are crying for some reason or another and I just get overwhelmed. Completely, utterly overwhelmed. I would really like to start crying myself. But I can't. I've got poor Justin to think about. I can't even imagine what it would be like for him if all four of us were crying at the same time (I'm sure it's bound to happen, sooner or later). He really is the rock of our family. Thank goodness I married a man who has been the best possible father to our children and the best partner to me. I read on a blog people were sharing the link to that the mom is supposed to set the tone for the family. Why is it all on her shoulders? Just adds to the mommy guilt in my opinion. Moms, don't feel like you are solely responsible for the behaviors and actions of all family members at all times. Sometimes your 19 month old is going to throw an awful tantrum and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Sometimes one twin is going to hear the other twin cry and start crying herself because that's what twins do. That's not being a bad mother or not setting the correct "tone" for your household; that's just what kids do sometimes. Sometimes the tone of your house is going to be "survival of the fittest," sometimes it's going to be one of perfect harmony (let me know what that looks like, ok?).
A comment was made to me that's been sticking in my mind a lot and I want to address it. I was told I was "lucky" to be able to leave my kids and go to work. I'm not sure why that person thought it was luck and not a necessity that I return back to work. Again with the mommy guilt. Ask any working mother if she thinks she is lucky to leave her kids with somebody else. Find me one that says yes. It is out of necessity that I return back to work, and it's a bonus that I like my job. I'm married to a financial advisor and that really does change the way you look at all of your decisions. Buying diapers and formula for two babies who eat A LOT? Provide healthcare for all three kids? And life insurance for myself and Justin? All of that is very expensive. Please don't think for a second that I'm going to enjoy leaving my children. In fact, I'm leaving my children to go spend time with 160 other children. I'm hyper aware of that fact every single day. All day, every day, I am with children. I may not be with my own kids, but I'm helping others raise their kids. That is what makes me lucky.
So now I will return to the "new normal." I'll need your support these next few weeks, because the phrase "working mother" is redundant.
